general conference day one

Every six months the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints members meet together for two days to hear from prophets, seers, and apostles. We believe these men that have been called are true messengers of Heavenly Father. We believe that revelation that they have received is to help guide our church. This weekend is the second of the two meetings we get this year. So far we've had a lot of changes, all for increasing our faith in Jesus Christ and in strengthening our homes and families. 

I've felt so impressed just within the past few hours of listening to the Spirit and the speakers deliver their talks, that I felt that it really needs to be shared. I mean I think we all can agree that sometimes life is crazy. It's like sometimes life is SO good and it's like you're cruising. But then sometimes it's like the world is crashing all around you. Lately I've been feeling more of the latter and I've honestly been struggling with who I am, what my role is on Earth and what I need to do to fulfill my goals and dreams. 

So I just wanted to talk a little bit about each one of these struggles and the light and revelation I've received just today from the various talks I've been able to listen to. 

1. Who am I? 

I mean, I know who I am literally. I'm Valissa! But what I have been struggling with is what is my worth? What am I to the universe? I felt like I was wasting space, time and energy here, and I forgot that I was a divine daughter of God. I was reminded of this today. What a special and sacred reminder and testimony to gain, that I am LOVED. I am CHERISHED. I am A DAUGHTER OF GOD. I am SO much to SO many. 

2. What is my role on Earth? 

I recently deleted all my social media platforms because everyone around me is pregnant and announcing it. I mean I know the Lord has his own timing for everyone, but after seeing one after another, after another, I started to feel like I wasn't good enough to become a mom. That something was wrong with me. I mean Jaden and I haven't even really started trying to conceive, but all these posts made me feel less and that I wasn't good enough. I lost sight of what my divine role is and what natural talents I have that will make me the best mom I can be. 

I will one day become a mom, and I will teach my children to live on the covenant path. It may not be today, tomorrow or even next month. But when the time does come, it's because it's the will of Heavenly Father. I will cherish every moment that I have with them and I will be my very best, not for myself, but for them as special spirit children of my Father in Heaven. Until then I will remember my divine role that was given to me before this earth was even created.

I will do my best to better myself each and every day to align what I want to teach my children with my actions. I want them to live the covenant path, so I will live it until and while they are here. I want them to rejoice in the scriptures, so I will rejoice in them until and while they are here. I want them to love attending the temple, so I will until and while they are here. I want them to know I love their father, and I will love him with my whole heart every day until then, and every day while they are here. I realized my role is to one day become a mother, but I also realized that I have time to better myself until then, for them, my future children. 

3. What can I do to fulfill my goals and dreams? 

I've found that my goals and dreams are very natural man. I want to graduate so I can earn money and I want to have children because everyone else is having children. THAT'S TOTALLY THE WRONG MINDSET. That's what I realized today. My mindset of my goals and dreams are NOT aligned with what the Lord wants for me. 

Honestly, I still haven't figured out really what he wants me to do, but I do know now that I am willing to stop putting my selfish desires before I put the Lord's plan and will into my life. I haven't actually asked him if my goals are what he wants me to be doing. Or that they are even in the same ball field. So in conclusion to this struggle and revelation is that I simply need to ask Heavenly Father if what I am doing is what he wants me to be doing more often. Not just once every few years. Ask him often enough where I can make course adjustments when necessary without the backlash of waiting too long.

So if you've read this all the way through so far, I just want to say you are truly a homie. This post was more about me sharing some personal stuff and my experiences of being humbled. I'm not perfect, and I struggle a lot. But I do know that I am trying to do better each and everyday and that my Heavenly Father is mindful of me and my efforts. 

So if you aren't doing anything tomorrow at 10 am MST and 2 pm MST, I urge you to go to lds.org and watch general conference live with me and see if anything stands out to you. Because I know that Heavenly Father knows you and your struggles too and this is his opportunity to share that he loves you and is mindful of you.